Salam perantauan di musim sonata

Bismillah...

It was around 4pm in Egypt and 10pm in Malaysia. I was alone at home, my housemates went out. It got pretty lonely so I wanted to skype with my family. The minute my Ibu called me, I saw her face and I wanted to cry. Okay the homesick bug just got to me.

We talked a lot. My Ayah joined in after he finished his prayers. It felt so nice just watching their facial expressions when they talked. I knew they missed me a lot because I haven't skyped with them for so long. Maybe not as much as I miss them.

At some point during our conversation, they asked about my friends who went back to Malaysia. I told them the holiday has been extended so they won't be coming back to Mesir any time soon. Some of them even went on a tour to Europe.

The minute I told them about it, I saw their faces changed a bit. You see, we have never been rich. But I have always considered myself a child of great privilege. Through my eyes, I have a wonderful loving family who cares about me no matter how annoying I am. That was all that mattered to me. Plus, we have never been hungry or without a shelter so that is already a bonus for me.

It doesn't bother me at all the fact that my friends get to go on vacations to Europe or wherever they want to go. I know if my parents could afford it, they would have let me go on a tour in a heartbeat. Seeing my parents looked sad just because they couldn't afford to do so, it really broke my heart.

Up until now as I am typing this entry, tears keep running down my face. If there is one thing that I can't handle, it will be seeing my family sad.

My Ibu, may Allah bless her, quickly told me she would bank in some extra money for me. That way I can go out with my friends to eat pizzas because she knows it's my favourite food. I told her I already did eat some pizzas a few days ago. My Ayah insisted I should go out with my friends and enjoy ourselves. (I kept crying inside when he said that to me)

To my Ibu and Ayah, I love you so much. Words can never describe how truly grateful I am to have both of you as my parents. You raised me so well. Never once was I deprived of your love. Don't worry Ibu, don't worry Ayah, I don't need to go to Europe this instant. I don't need to eat pizzas all the time to make me happy. I have Ibu, Ayah and Adik. That is more than I can ask for. May Allah bless you. I pray that someday Allah will let me have the chance to repay your deeds InsyaAllah...

Home is where my heart is

Muka ku di muka buku

Nowadays I see a lot of people are getting more conscious about Islam which is awesome! It's pretty cool the fact that the muda-mudi remaja are preferring to go to the Masjid to get a glimpse of Ustaz Azhar Idrus instead of rempit-ing till midnight. Whenever I see my friends prefer to listen to Ustaz Don's ceramah instead of watching music video clips on youtube, I feel kinda proud of them because everyone is making a little effort to get to know Islam just a little bit more. 

I saw on facebook today a picture drawn by rusydee artz (He really is a good artist!). So he drew a new picture and it's about encouraging all the akhowat out there to start deleting their pictures on FB. Here's the drawing:

So it got me thinking, is it really wrong to put up our photos on the alam maya muka buku?

Before my personal hijrah to become a better muslimah, I used to put up like every single picture of mine on FB. You know, like every other normal girl would do. There would be pictures of me with my family during raya, pictures of my cat, but mostly, pictures of me having fun with my friends.

To me, those pictures represented all the memories I've had with my girl friends. There were photos of me and my girls jumping in the air at our matric's squash court. Or simple photos of us just hanging out at the mall eating together and what girls do best....SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!! There were even photos of us singing together at a karaoke lounge. Haha good times...

All of these pictures didn't bother me at all. I didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong. At that time I thought, if I don't kacau anybody's life, then it was my prerogative to put up all those pictures out there for everyone to see...(As if people actually wanna see them. Budget artis sungguh)

After I underwent my own personal hijrah, I started thinking more about what I can and cannot do.  One of the first things that I thought about was my pictures. Somehow something just clicked in my head and I quickly private all of them. At first I thought about leaving just 1 picture of me as my profile picture. I guess the devil kept whispering in my ears saying stuff like..

Encik devil gedik:

"If you leave no picture of you whatsoever, like, how will your friends know that it's you?"

Encik devil bongek:

"What if your long lost friend from sekolah kecik2 dulu saw you on facebook, but can't be sure it's you so he/she decides to not reconnect with you?

Encik devil memujuk rayu + lagi gedik:

"If you don't show your face, how will the cute guys add you on facebook?"

What the.............

Nauzubillah....

In the end, I put every picture of mine on private. But back then, I didn't really understand why I did it. (Actually I did have a personal reason why I decided to private them but that's a long story. Moving on!)

But looking back, I guess it was a good decision for me. I find that mostly the people who add me on FB actually know me instead of just simply adding me to their friend list. Besides, I put my real name there so my friends won't have any problem trying to find my timeline.

Ustaz Azhar Idrus once said that it is permissible to put up our picture on FB, but make sure it is for profile picture and it is a small one. However, Nouman Ali prefers us, the Muslim sisters, to delete them completely. I'm not exactly sure if there is a fatwa on this but I feel that it is better to follow the advice of the scholars. I am in no position whatsoever to say if it is haram or permissible to do so nor am I judging my friends who happen to put up their pictures on FB. Everybody is entitled to their own opinions and I believe that my girls know what is best for them.

As for me, my profile picture stays as it is. A picture of a kid with a butterfly that I took from Google image. Wee.... ^__^ 

Don't wake my baby up tonight

Please don't wake my baby up tonight

He had just fallen asleep

After a long hard day

Of hunger n terror

At last he is with his dreams..

Please don't wake my baby up tonight

With guns, bombs and bullets

For he is just a little child

With hopes of a better future

For now he is with his dreams..

Please don't wake my baby up tonight

It is still dark outside

Not much difference from the daylight

As blood is shed from dusk til dawn

At least for now he is with his dreams..

Please don't wake my baby up tonight

His father isn't coming home

No more hugs and no more lullabies

Not now not tomorrow not ever

Maybe he is with him in his dreams..

Please don't wake my baby up tonight

Don't fill the air with the sound of tears

I would like him to hear the Koran's verses

Soothing calming the words of God

Maybe he will sleep with better dreams..

Please don't wake my baby up tonight

Spare his life for another day

Don't be afraid of what comes after

As God rewards the patience of believers

Sleep soundly my dear with sweet dreams..

Dedicated to the people of Palestine...

Berjimba-jimba mencari pahala

Today is Tuesday (I just found out about this. Ever since the holiday started, I don't know the day and date most of the time haha). I woke up at 4.30 a.m. Lately I've been going to bed early just to wake up earlier every morning. Usually during the holidays I would basically just stay up all night till sunrise then sleep. Okay I'm a natural born night owl. Can you blame me?? But nowadays, I find myself enjoying the morning a lot. It makes me feel like I have the whole day to myself. I am in control of the day where I can plan whatever I wanna do and take my time eating breakfast and stuff. Btw, breakfast is my favourite meal of the day. Seriously. Breakfast is just awesome!

So I started my morning with the usual. Meaning I had breakfast, watched some movies. You know, normal stuff people do during winter break. Class will only start on the 22nd which means I have plenty of time to do whatever I wanna do. I noticed a change in myself. These past few days, I kept forgetting to recite the Zikr, something that I try to amalkan every morning. Whenever I don't, I do feel the distance between my heart and Allah grows. (Note to self : Please recite the Zikr tomorrow moring. No more excuses girl!) Ehem. As I was saying, after I took time just to get into the groove, I felt like studying. I'm not a fast learner and medic has been quite a challenge for me so far. My add math teacher once told me, if we're not the best learner, we can always make up by being the most hardworking student. So I just wanted to start reading and get a heads up for next semester's syllabus. Besides, I've always been a proud nerd haha. First case: Spina Bifida. It is a condition in which there is a defect in the neural tube for the foetus, so there is a protrusion of the spine. I haven't finished reading about it but I will get back to it!

Speaking of studying, I'm so nervous about my results!!! I have no idea how it will turn out. A lot of things happened during last semester. Allah tested me many times and it was such a difficult time of my life. I guess my studies were affected because of the problems I faced. It was tough but I really did try my very best. I put as much effort as I could into my exams. Scared? Oh yeah I'm definitely scared about the results! I'm always scared about letting my parents down.... But I do have faith in Allah. I know that whatever happens it'll be the best for me. Now is the time for tawakal.. =) I did make a "nazar" for my result and I pray that Allah will give me a chance to fulfill my nazar InsyaAllah when the results come out.

Next plan of the day, I got a chance to volunteer to help distribute food to the poor. At around 2pm, my friends and I gathered to this place where they had stocks of rice, sugar and some beans. There was this one senior of mine, she had her niqab on but she spoke with such confidence, I just had to be mesmerized by her grace. I've always admired girls who have the courage to cover their faces with the niqab. That way, they can be judged solely by their brains, not by their looks. Isn't that a beautiful thing? Well, this kakak was the person who gave a briefing on how we, the volunteers, could help. We were instructed to measure all the foods available by the weighing thingy. Then, we packed all the foods into plastic bags, 1 kg each. Everybody was so eager to help in every way possible. We also met some wonderful new Egyptian friends along the way. This great charity work was made possible by a non-profit organisation called "Ar-Resala". They help distribute clothes and foods to the less fortunate. Truly only Allah can repay their kindness! The Egyptians who worked with us today were all so friendly with warm smiles across their faces. I actually wished I could spend more time with them just to get to know them better. The job was finished pretty quickly. We took many pictures together just to have a piece of the memory of today. Love was definitely in the air people!

While packing the food supplies, I kept trying to imagine about the people that are going to receive all the foods. Will they smile? Will they cry? Who will they thank first? Will they keep us in their prayers? Mostly, I pray that they won't have to feel hungry again the next day...

Before this, I have always wanted to be a part of a volunteering work. As any other Malaysian girl out there, I used to watch 3R every Sunday! I never missed any of it and I used to force my Dad to watch 3R instead of F1 if it was on at the same time. Kesian my Ayah, may Allah bless him for his patience all those years ^_^. So back to the story, 3R heavily promoted any form of charity work and I used to pray that one day I would get the chance to contribute as well. Allah granted my wish today =) . It was so rewarding.....Seeing everyone who was a part of today's event worked diligently just to have a chance at helping, made me feel like humanity is still alive in our society. Made me believe that good people are always around us.

The first time I ever learnt about the act of sedekah is by my Ayah. We used to go to a pasar malam every Thursday, and there will be this old man who would recite the Holy Koran in front of everyone. The thing is, the man was blind. Yet, that wasn't an excuse for him. He didn't just sit there waiting for someone to hand him money. Instead, he did what he could. He recited the Koran and wallahi, he had such a beautiful voice. I was still small back then but I can still remember how he looked and how well he knew the Koran's verses. My Ayah gave a 50 cents coin to me, and asked me to go hand it to that man. That was my very first leason about sedekah and I will never forget it. It was very little money but he taught me such a big lesson at such a young age.

In Islam, the act of sedekah or giving zakat is highly encouraged. Whoever that gives sedekah in order to seek for Allah's mercy will definitely be rewarded.

The example of those who spend their wealth in the way of Allah is like a seed [of grain] which grows seven spikes; in each spike is a hundred grains. And Allah multiplies [His reward] for whom He wills. And Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing. (Al-Baqarah:261)

I know that most of us students are on holidays. I don't know about other people but whenever I'm on a break, I find my state of iman slips a little bit. It does get harder for me to control myself in my natural habitat. And by natural habitat, I mean in my house, in my bedroom, in my comfy toasty comforter on my bed, doing absolutely nothing. Yikes!! So I do find myself forgetting how much I love Allah and Rasulullah s.a.w. I will forget to do the easiest ibadah like zikr, or any of the prophet's sunnah. I will even neglect to recite the simplest daily doa like the doa before going to bed. Seriously, it's frustrating! But at least I realise that now. I will definitely work harder on my state of iman. I am so grateful today that Allah gave a chance to improve my iman by letting me join the charity work and I am grateful that Allah still chooses to remind me of Him every day with His hidayah. I really really hope that the next time I go berjimba-jimba, it will be like today, berjimba-jimba mencari pahala. =)